Page 19 - YB_1946

CLASS PROPHESY

Ah, yes, we are Dt last in Dreamland. There ia the golden eagle
knocking at the window beckoning us to mount his back so that he may
take us on a tour to see our fellow classmr.tes as they 1-1ill appear fifty
years hence. Are we ready? You bet!
Our first visit is in good old Nebraska. On one of the many dirt
roads, in a little red schoolhouse, we find one of our classrna tes, Carol
Bergman, teaching her eleven pupils their history lesson. ~ven though
she is 68, she locks quite young. Her hair is done up in a neat knot
and her black hose have no runners. She is blushing, as usual, but her
pupils seem to be exceedingly well behaved.
While yet in Nebraska we decide to tour the farm of Louise Angell
and her husband. We find her scrubbing the kitchen floor on her hands
and knees. She tells us it is so hard to keep their three-room home
clean when the thirteen children are running wildly about. She says
Grandmother Angell will simply have to take care or· the children while
she and her husband build two additional rooms on to their horne.
Now for a swoop to the Nation s Capital, ;'lashing ton D. C., to visit
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Hon. Bernard Schmidt, Supreme Court Justice. He tells us he thoroughly
enjoys his work if he could only see a little better. Although he is
in his late 60's, he says he has many years to go before he intends to
retire froo his position.
On a flight to ~Iaine, 1-1e first stop at R<::.dio City, New York. Here
1-:e find Dorothy K&rlson directing her all-male choir, broadcasting over
the CHAZY net1vork. She tells us that the next number of the program
will be that cute little lass of our class, Arlene Coufal, touring the
musical scales of the ne"'· opera, "He's l1y Sailor," so we decic.le to stay
until she has performed.
Continuine; our journey to the rocky coast of Haine, ;.;e behold an
extremely shacky building and decide to investigate. Upon reaching a
door and opening it, we find a queer old professor squinting and pper-
ing at teEt tubes and flasks. Why, it is none other than Leslie Hageman.
He does not recogni?.e us at first, but after pushing his extremely long
heir out of his eyes he can really see~ He then tells us he is tryin5
to discover a magnetic perfume which will attract ~omen. My, my, such
nonsenfe at his age.
Across the hall from Frcf. Ha 6 eman s labor a tory ive see a de or with
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a sign in bold letters, "Arc~eologist, Dolores Swanson." This must be
worLh investigation. Opening the door we find not one, but two ladies
seated at a desk. ".ie discover that it is !!iss Sv;anson dictating a letter
to her private secretary, Arlene Behrens. hiss Swaneon's office is
filled to the brim with oanes and skeletons and muooies of all sorts.
Enough to give anyone the creeps~ iiiss Behrens tells us that !:'he does
secret&.rial •:ork for liiss Swanson only as a sideline, and tna t her
~teady job is teaching Home Ec. in a boys' college. Oh, yes, she also
says she does light house work once a week in the old bschelors' home.
You see, she's an old maid.
~ow for a long hop to the Ozarke. There, under an old tree. is a
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bare-foot man. His cheeks are sunken and his hair is whitened. '.ve d
never know him but for a trace in his smile. His teeth are ~one, but
he says he'll have some from the store soon. Then we're sure ~e'll be
able to tell more eesily that he is Marion I oline.
Just across the border into Texas, our pet eagle brings us right
into the officP of Hr. Bob Scoles, manager of the Sput and Spurt Oil
Company. As u!'ual, his feet are on the desk and he is desperately trying
to converse on the phone and dictate a letter all at once. We see he
has dozen::: of secretaries but none are ouite &s efficient as his favor-
ite red-haired gal~ (????) ·
The lr-,s t state in the :our is C&lifornia, \\'here we find the glamour
of the class. As we sail over one of the city parks of Hollywood, we
see a hube gang of bobby-soxers crowded around a park bench yelling
wildly for euto1;raphs. \ve s<1oop down and see that the feature attrac-
tion is our own Van Johnson, o therwiB e known as Wayne i'iilliams. Although
he's in his 66th year and his hair is flecked with gray, he still has
that mr-gnetic a-..tractionfor women~ (Hayoe Prof. Hae:;emanhad bener see
nim for some advice.)
(Turn to bottom of Class Will)